My Ludicrous Logitech Remote Experience

This is a more personal post with an embedded message.

As a ridiculously extravagant gift to myself I purchased two different Logitech Harmony Remotes
My goal was to attain better control over my devices, ranging from X10 lighting and power switches to the various media devices used around our house.

As usual the first thing I did was to read and translate the Terms and Conditions the result was a surprise even to me, you have just got to love lawyers!

Here is my plain English translation:

1 It's not yours, it's ours, we just let you use it while we choose to allow you to.

2 You can't nick it or let anyone else nick it. 

    (It's not good enough to use for anything important, think of it as a toy.)

3 If you give it to anyone they are also lumbered with these rules.

4 There's stuff in this made by others, the stuff they make might not work, which is not our fault. You accept their stuff may spy on you and misuse your personal data. This is nothing to do with us but we make you accept this rule anyway. Oh yes and they can change their stuff without you knowing anything about what they did or why they did it.

5 We can stop you using it whenever we want to with no need to tell you why.

6 We never said it would work and it's your fault if it doesn't, and it would be absolutely nothing to do with us!

7 We will never EVER accept any liability under any circumstance what-so-ever.

(unless of course, if you happen to know we have to accept liability by laws of your jurisdiction, in which case we will work very hard to duck our liabilities)

8 Special Clause for the U.S. government, even though we say on the box it can't be sold in the USA

9 You must comply with export controls, though we won't say why, or which ones apply.

10 If you are buying this for someone else we will pretend they bought it and will apply all

these rules to them whether or not they read them.

11 We are going to pretend your own countries law's don't apply and you can't make us think they do "La la la, la lah!"

12 If English is not your language tough! We only believe what we said in this English Version.

13 We have put a list of other folks on the internet, as they are the people who wrote most of this thing, and you have to accept all their rules too!

14 We have NO obligation to keep this thing working....

Why did I buy this stuff again?

Anyway I shall ignore these silly T's and C's, mostly because I still hold to the ludicrous idea that most Corporations want to do good by their customers, yes I know, silly me! I also have a sneaking suspicion that in a court of law most of these terms are invalid. 

Why do Corporations write such ludicrous Terms and Conditions? That's a far deeper question, which I suspect it is part seeing their purchasers as commodities to trade rather than Customers, and part a defensive position against the litigious world in which we live.

I am starting to consider that I need a set of Terms and Conditions myself for all those that want to do business with me.... I wonder how ludicrous I should make them?